Holiday Baking With Kids Part 3

This past Sunday Riley and I made rocky road candy for her teachers' Christmas gifts. It has become a tradition to make it around the holidays for gifts. Everyone always loves it and it is so easy- another great food item to make with kids! We had an older neighbor friend of ours come over and she made gifts for her teachers with us too- so fun! I always get lots of requests for the recipe and thought I would share it with you. I found the cute buckets and baggies at Walmart. They always have a good selection of tins and containers for food giving at a reasonable price.  We had a great time delivering holiday cheer to her school teachers and Sunday school teacher on Monday morning! Have fun making your own memories and remembering those that work so hard for our kids during the year! 

Rocky Road Candy

2 c semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 c mini marshmallows

1/2 c slivered almonds, toasted  on cookie sheet and broil (I have to admit I forgot toasting them this year and they still turned out great!)

 

Melt chocolate chips in microwave safe bowl in thirty second increments stirring often and checking to make sure that they don't burn. After chips are melted, stir in marshmallows and almonds. Drop by teaspoonful on wax paper. Put in freezer for about fifteen minutes. Transfer to containers. Yield: 3 dozen.

Devotion #6- Mommy Mission

"For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory." 1Thessalonians 2:11-12

 

This past Sunday at my church a young teenager placed his ultimate trust in Christ and got baptized. I worked with him last summer during vacation Bible school where he had stood out as a leader and I had enjoyed watching his interactions with the preschoolers. I spotted both of his parents eagerly taking videos as right before our eyes a miracle took place. My vision blurred from tears as my heart filled with emotions. My thoughts turned to my two girls and what a special day it will be when they accept Jesus as Lord of their lives.

 

It occurred to me that this one life changing moment is really an accumulation of small moments throughout a person's life pointing the way to Christ. Small moments but thoughtful moments nonetheless. As a mom it is so easy for me to miss my focus on what really matters in the life of my children in favor of their more immediate needs. I spend time researching the best sippy cups that won't leak and hunt down the shoes that my toddler will actually keep on her feet. I look into the best (and don't forget the cutest!)  labels for their belongings. I find myself researching solutions on how to keep everyone out from under my feet while I'm cooking, and I spend time reading different books on discipline strategies trying to find the most effective one for my little ones.

 

I put such thought into these things that I know I sometimes neglect the one thing that I must be most diligent about and that is making sure my girls know who Jesus is and that their mommy loves him with all her heart so that one day they will choose to do the same. It would be nice to have a checklist of sorts telling us moms what we need to do to make this happen. Matters of the heart aren't so easy though. There is no perfect time to pray nor perfect prayer. There is no perfect children's Bible nor perfect spiritual activity. 

 

Recently, during my personal Bible study time I ran across 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 and felt like God was handing me my spiritual mission statement for mothering my children. It was even broken down into three easy to remember parts: encourage, comfort, and urge. I did some digging into the dictionary and came up with a more complete picture of what these words mean for me as a mom. I am to encourage my children much like a teacher or a coach does by inspiring them and helping them in their relationship with God.  I am to comfort them by strengthening them with a sense of trust and expectancy in their Savior.  Finally, I am to urge my children to live a life worthy of God which will hasten them to action, the ultimate of which is making the decision to live for Christ.

 

This time of the year it is especially easy to get caught up in all of the holiday festivities like Elf on a Shelf  (yes, I finally broke down!) and forget that we should be celebrating a Who (Jesus) and not a what (the holiday event of Christmas).  Hopefully, if we maintain our focus on our mommy mission statement of encouraging, comforting, and urging, we can navigate our children through the holidays knowing that we didn't obstruct their view of Jesus. May God use this holiday season of small moments to one day accumulate into the ultimate in life changing moments for our children.

Elf Ownership

I have to admit that I went into  elf ownership not too excited about it. I really felt like it was going to be just another thing to add to my already too long holiday task list. I went to a Christmas party recently where everyone was talking about it, and it seemed like too much work to me. I mean this girl was showing me pictures of her elf trying to walk out their door- freaky!  

I guess the power of marketing eventually got to me though. I saw the stupid thing everywhere! I heard about it everywhere! I couldn't escape it and I couldn't bear the thought of someone asking Riley what her elf's name was and what it had been up to and her wide expression as she told the person that she didn't have one. It seemed kind of cruel. Pathetic of me I'm sure. I mean we don't even have a pet so this is kind of the next best thing- right?

The first night after reading the elf story Riley was very excited about the concept. She excitedly ran through the house looking for a suitable location for our elf to begin being a part of our family during the holidays. Before bed though I had to reassure her that "Heart Sweet" as she named our girl elf, would not go into her room at night and bother her. It brought back memories of me being scared of E.T. after seeing the movie. Yeah he was cute in the movie, but put that thing in my room and I am going to freak out for sure! Even after reassuring her, Riley made an appearance in our room around 2am and needed to be put back to bed.   

The next day we watched the video which was cute. In the video it talked about how if you touched the elf it would lose its magic power and it would have a hard time making its nightly trip to the North Pole to check in with Santa. At that time our elf was sitting on a plate in the kitchen with a cookie on her lap. She has already "eaten" several cookies that day much to Riley's delight. Wanting to see how much of the cookie Heart Sweet had eaten, Riley pulled the plate closer to her and accidentally knocked off our elf. She immediately started crying and worried that Santa would be upset with her. I told her to write a letter to Santa saying that she was sorry hoping that the activity would help her to feel better. Instead, she obsessed about whether or not our elf would be able to fly to the North Pole and whether or not the note would actually get to Santa and who would help Heart Sweet in her journey home and how long she would have to stay in the hospital. Mercy, child! I think pet ownership would have been easier!

So now that it has been several days I think we are starting to get the hang of this elf thing. It has landed in our tree and turned on our tree lights ( I swear I turned them off when we left!), hung out on the top of a display cabinet, and most recently enjoyed drinking syrup because everyone knows elves love sugar, sugar, and more sugar! Her presence has actually brought a sense of company. Who knows,  maybe we will get that cat someday that Riley keeps asking for!

 

 

 

 

Holiday Baking With Kids Part 2

Rolo Pretzel Cookies are another easy item to make with the kids. I use the term cookie loosely as it is more like a candy, but it is called a cookie nevertheless. My four year old Riley and I had a fun time making these together. So easy and everyone loves them! I found this recipe online so long ago that I don't know where it came from, but here it is for you to enjoy!


Rolo Pretzel Cookies
15 oz. bag of waffle pretzels
two bags of the mini Rolo candies
one bag of mini holiday M&M's (or you can use the full-sized ones as well)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Lay out rows of waffle pretzels on a cookie sheet. Use one pretzel per Rolo you have on hand. Unwrap the Rolo candies and center one on each pretzel. Bake for about three minutes until the chocolate softens. It looks like it is glistening. Working quickly before the chocolate cools, press several holiday M&M's on each Rolo and squish it down. You might not want little hands doing this part as the chocolate can be too hot for them!  Let cookies cool. You can also set the cookies in the frig. I made one cookie sheet and it was plenty for the cookie exchange I was going to and I also had some left for a Christmas gift for our neighbor! They keep well too, so you could make them ahead of time for gifts or a party.

Dreams

Okay so today was a big day in the life of a childhood dream of mine. If you had asked me what I wanted to do when I was a kid I would have answered you with "writer". Ever since I was in the fourth grade it has been a dream of mine to get published. That dream actually came true several years ago when I was published in a magazine called Seeing the Everyday. I wrote a piece about the women in my family showing their love by making biscuits called "Biscuits and Gravy". It is actually included on this blog if you want to check it out. Since then I have wanted to continue my writing journey, but other than writing tons in notebooks and starting this blog I haven't really been sure what else I could do that would be manageable for me.

That changed when I started writing devotions for my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group this past September. MOPS has a quarterly magazine as well and the thought occured to me that I should submit my writing to them. So today I did just that. I sent off a piece for consideration in their May/June/July issue. It felt good to actively pursue my dream regardless of what will happen. Our MOPS theme this year is Plunge and that is exactly what I am doing- taking a plunge and putting my writing out there.

So today I encourage you to take your own plunge. What have you been too scared to do? What have you been putting off doing? Go for it today! I would love to hear about it!

Holiday Baking with Kids Part 1

Today Riley and I did some baking. Since she was with me when I bought all the special cookie ingredients,  she was anxious to get started. We made Red-Nosed Reindeer cookies that I had pulled out of the December issue of Parents magazine several years ago.  I have several cookie exchanges to go to this month and I thought they would be really cute to take and as a bonus they would be really easy to make. I planned to make them last year but when I couldn't find the mini chocolate covered pretzels for the antlers, I gave up and made something else instead. I was so happy this year to easily find all the ingredients.

Initially, I wanted our cookies to come out looking just like the picture in the magazine. I was bummed to realize that the mini M&M's that I bought only had red and green when we needed brown for the eyes. The white icing that I got didn't create a small enough dollup of frosting, so I had to pull out my Wilton Dessert Decorator to create a smaller amount of frosting to place the candies on.

As we continued to work though I realized that we could make a small amount of cookies and use them as our practice ones so really what did it matter except making time for my daughter and having fun. Who cares if ours don't look like the picture? They are still cute and better yet they tasted great!

I included the recipe below for you to try with your little bakers! Have fun!

Theirs

 

Ours

 

Red-Nosed Reindeer Cookies:

1.      Slice pieces from peanut butter cookie dough in half (we used Pillsbury's and you could use the sugar cookie kind as well.)

2.      Shape into 1 1/2" triangles and place 3" apart on cookie sheet.

3.      Bake 8-10 minutes.

4.      While cookies are still warm, push a mini chocolate pretzel (Flipz- found them in the candy aisle) on each side to resemble antlers.

5.      Let cool completely.

6.      Have kids decorate the face: attach brown M&M Minis for eyes and a red regular sized M&M nose with frosting. (Make sure you get the bag that has more than just holiday colors!) Makes 24 but the great thing with this recipe is you can make some and put the rest of the dough in the frig until later. Enjoy!

Devotion #5- Thanksgiving Blessings

 

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

 Teachers know that there are some students who touch your heart and you are never the same. All it took at the beginning of the school year several years ago when I was still teaching to hear about a student who had come to this country who could barely speak English, and my heart instantly went out to him. When I met him on the first day of school all he could do was smile, and it was a smile that could fill a dark day with hope. I loved this boy instantly and as I learned more of his difficult journey to this country as a young teenager my heart broke for him and his family.

That year I made him my project. Each day I worked to help him learn basic survival English. I met with all of his teachers coordinating units that we would all focus on in order to continue to help him adjust to life in a totally different culture. We assigned student buddies for him in each of his classes who spoke Spanish as a first language.  A friend of mine who spoke Spanish fluently was recruited to be a liaison of sorts between his mom and his teachers. It was a slow and at times frustrating task with few rewards that could be seen except one, Samuel's big winning smile each and every day when he would come late to class because he just couldn't understand the concept of class bells. He had barely even been to school in his native country of San Salvador. School culture was as foreign to him as being in another country. I could not imagine his daily struggle. Inevitably, the year came to an end though and I thought that I might never see Samuel again even as I wondered if I had helped him in the slightest.   

This past Thanksgiving, several years after teaching Samuel, my church partnered with some other local organizations to put together Thanksgiving meals for families who may not be able to have one otherwise. I was so excited to hear that Samuel's family had been selected and would be getting one. I immediately volunteered to deliver it.

Have you ever noticed that things have a tendency to get crazy when you agree to do something that should be simple in order to help someone else? First, the dinner delivery group had issues coordinating a time to pick up the meal due to our kids' schedules. Then, after we were finally able to pick up the meal we realized that there was a gift certificate for the turkey. We knew that the family did not have transportation and to expect them to go out and get a turkey the day before Thanksgiving seemed a little unlikely to happen. We also noticed that the meal didn't seem substantial enough for a family of four when three of the four members were growing boys, so we decided to make an emergency trip to the grocery store.

After navigating the grocery store with five kids in tow, late in the afternoon just a few days before Thanksgiving, it was no surprise that we arrived at Samuel's apartment later than we had anticipated. The youngest brother, Jose, opened the door partially and then Samuel quickly came to the door to let us in. Samuel still had the same big smile. But this time he kept saying my name and "thank you" over and over again when we brought the food inside and placed it on the table in his small, simple apartment. It was as if he was trying to make up for the school year of very few spoken words. He seemed genuinely delighted to see me again and I of course felt the same way.

Once outside about to leave after having had the chance to catch up, I saw Samuel's silhouette illuminated in the two story window above. I waved and smiled one last time as I offered a silent prayer that he would look back on this night and feel the presence of Jesus in this small, simple expression of kindness. There are moments in life that will never be forgotten. Moments when you know that you are exactly where you need to be. Moments when you know God is working in ways you can't even begin to understand.  Moments filled with blessings indescribable. This was one of those moments.

I drove home in the dark that night listening to my sixteen month old yell and cry the entire thirty minute ride home. Her dinner time had been disrupted by the fact that we were late in dropping off the meal. The warmth of God's love made the dark ride home cozy despite the noise. God communicated His pleasure to me by the peace I felt even through the crying. The joy surrounded me and could not be taken away by such earthly inconveniences. I wondered how I could ever want more than this? I counted my blessings: a comfortable home, a happy family, loving people in my life, reliable transportation, a full pantry, and most importantly a God who loves me. My blessings are bursting and it felt so good to share. So very thankful.

 

 

 

 

Devotion #4- Traditions

 

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and will all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:4-7

 

During  this past Halloween I thought about my Dad taking me trick-o-treating while watching my four year old go door to door holding my husband's hand. At times she had to be carried when she saw a scary costume, a scary decoration, or a dog barking inside a house. I love how being a parent forces me to have a foot in the past and in the present all in the same moment.  I love looking back and remembering.

Remembering is Biblical as well. In Deuteronomy God through Moses told the Israelites to remember. The word remember is used something like sixteen times in the book of Deuteronomy. Feasts and celebrations were instituted just so the people would look back and remember God's faithfulness and mercy to them over the years. He is still calling us to remember Him today. Sometimes when the present seems uncertain and lacking hope, if we will look back and remember the past and God's unfailing deliverance, we can face the present and the future. We will find the strength to go forward.

Traditions can help us do just that- remember God and all He has done for us.  As a parent of two little ones I think about traditions quite a bit. What traditions from my family growing up do I want to continue? Which new traditions do I want to begin with my family? As a Mom it is especially easy to get caught up in holiday traditions and make them something stressful.  If all the activity gets in the way of remembering then maybe the tradition needs to be scaled back or eliminated all together.  I don't want my girls to say, " I remember at our house mom stressing out about the turkey at Thanksgiving and yelling at us every December in order to get the perfect Christmas card picture." That would be so sad to me. The traditions we choose must be meaningful and purposeful.

The big seasonal memory making traditions can crowd out the simple everyday traditions. There is power in the simple. Somehow the simple slips into our busy over-filled lives and causes us to pause and take notice.  What if we focused more on daily God honoring traditions like a family devotion time or making family prayer a priority? Ultimately, the most important tradition that needs to be passed down from generation to generation is the knowledge of how to have a personal relationship with Christ and how much He loves us. The relationship we model with our Savior will be the legacy that will last for generations. It will be the tradition that stands the test of time and lasts for eternity. In the end how beautiful and perfect our family looks on the Christmas card this year in their matching seasonal attire and big happy smiles is not going to matter one little bit.

 

 

 

 

My Soul Must Cling

I am a people pleaser by nature. That is to say that I am by nature a liar and a coward. I have been carelessly flirting with the father of lies for most of my life. I don't know how to be apart from the lies. Lies to make others feel good. Lies to cover up my true feelings. Lies, lies, and more lies. A foundation of them built on sand. So when I finally decided or I guess when I finally listened and obeyed God in this matter and spoke the truth to a family member, it came across as heartless and cruel because it was the truth not candy coated and easy to swallow as my past confections have been.

 Add in the fact that I have made an idol out of this person and our relationship, and things quickly go from bad to worse. I have craved this person's approval most of my life, allowing it to become oxygen to my soul. I gave the devil a foothold and he took up residence in my already wayward heart.

The funny thing is that even though it was hard to speak the truth, I felt lighter. Even though I don't know where this relationship goes from here, I feel strangely peaceful. I don't need this person like I once thought I did and there is a quiet strength in that realization. Most of my life I have feared the loss of this person's love and I have fought to hold onto it at all costs. Now my hand is open and that love can go. And I'm okay with that. There is peace in the truth. There is liberation in knowing in my heart that the only love I need, the only love I must have, is the love of my savior. His acceptance is the only validation I need now or ever. I will never lose His love or approval. I don't have to work for it, or earn it, or jump through countless hoops to obtain it. He is my portion forever. When all others have let me down, He never fails. He is the only certainty I have in an uncertain world. And whatever has to come in order for me to draw nearer to Him, bring it on. It is all worth that cost. He will never change. My soul must cling to Him now and forever more.

Sanity Saver (Mommy Tip)

My girls were driving me crazy when I was trying to get meals on the table. It didn't matter the time of day even. Somehow, everyone was always under foot and not only that but crying!  I was able to find this kitchen on Craig's List for $15 and now it sits in the corner of our kitchen. The girls love to make me something while I make their meals. Sanity restored! Smiles all around! Oh and in case you are wondering...the towel is under it because we had hosed it off and dried it off but still wanted to make sure that it didn't drip on the wood floor. We couldn't wait a minute to get it inside the house and try it out!

Devotion #3- Community

"They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." Acts 2:42

 

My church has something called LifeGroups. LifeGroups are small groups that meet in homes during the week to discuss different Biblical topics. My particular group meets to discuss our read through the Bible in a year plan. I'm in the only "kid friendly" LifeGroup and this year there has been a surge in attendance. All together we have twenty-four attending with twelve kids, six of whom who are three or younger. Add in the fact that we also share dinner together and the scene starts to look more like a crazy extended family visiting during the holidays than a weekly Bible study discussion group.

 

This past week we were trying to discuss Ezekiel and Amos which makes for a somewhat deep discussion, when the commotion from the little ones was just too much for us to continue. Typically the older ones are able to play together in an adjoining playroom with the babies crawling or toddling around entertaining themselves with a collection of toys piled in the middle of the floor with the adults looking on. This particular night though someone was chasing someone who didn't want to be chased, someone kept crawling into a not- so- safe dark area behind the sofa, pacifiers and sippies were being stolen left and right, and hair was being pulled. Crying and yelling continued despite one of the adults trying to corral the kids into the other room.

We couldn't even hear one another across the room trying to talk about our readings for the week. Before we gave up entirely though we began to reminisce, loudly I might add, about how far we had come as a group. We talked about how we had continued meeting despite tons of collective life changes like career changes and babies being born. At times continuing to meet had become a sacrifice. It would have been easier to have given up and to have quit a long time ago allowing our busy lives to take over. In spite of all that we have made this time a priority, and we have continued to build our relationships with one another through the years.

 Authentic community the way that God intended is only reached through a commitment to one another which includes sacrifice. We have to sacrifice in order for the blessings to freely flow. I have to admit that there have been times over the years when I have wondered if it was really worth it. Times when the events of the day steal all my energy and I don't think I have anything left to give,  times when the kids are running crazy excited to see one another, and more recently times when it is difficult to complete the reading plan for the week. Those minor inconveniences are soon chased away by the realization that this is what true community looks like, everyone coming together to do life together with all of that mess and realness with the Lord as the center of it all.

Devotion #1- Plunge

I recently agreed to do a devotion of sorts for my MOPS group. The following is the first installment for our new season of MOPS. I hope you find it uplifting and inspiring!

1 Peter 4:8-10 "Above all keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."

 

I'm going to be honest here and admit that I struggle with hospitality.  To me it represents the core of what a woman should be and I just don't have that gift. Effortless entertaining is just not my thing despite the fact that my mom was really good at it.  Sadly,  the gene just didn't get transferred. I'm the person who thinks I have all the ingredients for the recipe and then somehow at the last minute realize that I am one ingredient short or I'm cooking something I have cooked numerous times before only to get confused at the last minute and skip a step rendering the recipe a failure. I blame part of my problem on my refusal in elementary school to memorize  the cooking measurements.  Who knew those pesky little conversions would be so important later on?

Regardless of my failings in math, God has been working in my heart in the area of hospitality. Specifically, He has been convicting me in the area of loving my neighbors. I struggled with this when I realized that I didn't even know them. This fact is somewhat justified by the neighborhood in which we live. Everyone lives on at least three acres that are primarily wooded. I literally have not seen my next door neighbor in five years. I recently found out one of the houses on my street sat empty for two years and I didn't even notice. All that changed the day that my then two year old locked me out of the house while I was bringing in groceries forcing me to have to meet the neighbor across the street so that I could ask to use their phone.

Needless to say,  a special friendship with that neighbor was quickly formed and we discussed the need to get to know our other neighbors.  After finding out she was a party planner, it was quickly decided that we needed to have a block party for the neighbors on our street.   With her making a living out of hospitality,  I knew she would be able to teach this severely lacking student a thing or two.  Being an English teacher in my previous life, I wrote up the invitations and she had them printed using her connections as a party planner. A week later we handed out the invitations together by going door to door.  I  coordinated the food being brought and she did the running around buying the paper goods and other supplies. It ended up being a  partnership that only God could have orchestrated. 

That afternoon after the block party ended,  I remember going home with a huge smile filling my face.  My spirit was full from connecting with others. My belly was full from good food shared. My hands were full of food that neighbors had insisted I take in return for planning the block party for them. My heart was full from all the thank you's and kind words I unexpectedly received.  I was so thankful that I listened to God's voice and more importantly that I was obedient in allowing myself to be used as an instrument of hospitality which for me represented taking a scary plunge into the unknown. A  verse about Jesus coming to give life to the fullest ran across my mind as I reluctantly walked home and maybe in a small way, this is exactly what He meant.

Right Now

I have to apologize for my spotty writing lately. I really thought things would slow down a little with my oldest starting preschool and going every morning. That hasn't been the case though. I suppose trips to the doctor and dentist had been put off during the summer months and all that is catching up now it seems. I have also felt very convicted to focus more on my physical health lately so I have been setting aside more time to exercise which of course is a positive change but one that takes up more of my writing time these days. I also began Community Bible Study and feel like God is working on me in ways that I can't yet even express yet. Too close to my heart I suppose. I recently finished the book (devoured whole would probably be a better description) the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess  by Jen Hatmaker which really rocked my thinking and caused me to question so many areas of my life.  All that is to say that I feel God is calling me to give up everything to focus on Him and His word right now. It is a calling to get lost in Him and His word. I am taking "Seek Ye First" literally and making it my number one priority. Every day. So some things are on hold right now as I trust Him exclusively in a way I never have before. Some days He may be calling me to write and other days He may be calling me in a different direction. As I start this new journey with Him I am excited at what He will be doing and I plan to share it with you. May you receive blessings on this day of your journey!

Mommy's Are Good Like That

I am the type of person who always has tons of projects  going on at once. I blame my mom for this but at the same time I secretly like it.  For one thing, I am never bored. Most of my projects are in neat piles in my craft room lined up on this extra table I bought to have room to actually do my projects on but that is another story. I even had my husband put up a wipe board for me so that I can list all my projects and easily see what I want to get done in order for me to use spare moments as I have them.

Typically, I get to most of my projects even though it might take a while. For instance, I got really excited last spring when I saw this pattern at JoAnn’s for an “easy” pillowcase dress. I picked out really cute fabric and thought I could get it done before the baby was to born last summer. Yeah right.  A year later I am still staring at the fabric and the pattern. A few weeks ago, I decided that the time was right to finally make it. I got everything out and began reading and the farthest I got was to cut out the actual pattern. I need to mention that I have difficulty spatially. I hated Geometry in school. I love the actually process of sewing, but patterns confuse the heck out of me. The irony here is that I inherited all of my mom’s sewing paraphernalia so if you were to walk into my craft space you would think that I am a seamstress and really knew what I was doing. I never even took Home Ec. as my middle school pushed academics over electives and students were encouraged to take an extra social studies or a foreign language instead. I did finally take a sewing class as an adult, but it was years ago and sadly, I am one of those people who easily forgets skills if I’m not using them.

I think part of the problem was I was actually scared to start, to make a mistake. I just couldn’t begin. I came up with a way out though, or so I thought. I have a friend who goes to my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group, Olivia, who sews and actually used to sew as a side business. She made my nursing cover up and I loved it.  I would tell new moms about her all the time and brag on what great cover ups she made. I sent her an email asking her how much she would charge to make my dress that way I could get it off of my crafting “to-do” list once and for all. She quickly responded that she wanted to make one for her daughter too but had been too busy to make one.  She asked me if I wanted to come over for a “sewing playdate”.  I have to admit I was really skeptical that this would work. I could just envision all of our kids going nuts and my baby crawling around and getting into her things and destroying her house like she does mine. Not to mention the fact that I am one of those nerdy people who needs quiet to concentrate and you put four kids together and quiet just doesn’t happen unless they are getting into something and don’t want you to know about it and then things get really bad. But I was desperate to get this dress made. So I took a risk and said yes.

We got together a few days later and the whole experience was amazing from start to finish. First of all Olivia’s house just oozes this great vibe of creativity and a “go with the flow” attitude.  It just felt good to be there. It instantly made me wonder if my home feels as welcoming and inviting to others. Then the kids simply got along really well. There was little fighting and they never got crazy together which is just short of amazing. They remembered each other from being at MOPS together which did help of course. Even Lillian my baby did well despite being in a strange environment not completely “baby proofed”.  So we started our sewing adventure around 10am and by 2pm I had a completed dress.  Olivia was the best teacher and between the two of us, we were able to help out the kids when they needed things. No one argued or got mad the entire time which amazing for that amount of time and the fact that we were all pushing things way past nap time.  

So, sometimes it is worth taking a risk especially when it comes to women helping other women. I was able to get a dress made, develop a friendship, and help my children develop their own special friendships. It was all so worth it. The funny thing is Riley was so excited that I was making this dress for her and has she worn it even once yet? A big, fat no. But I outsmarted her. I made the dress a size bigger so she can still wear it next year and then after that Lillian can wear it too. Mommy’s are good like that.

 

 

Mommy Validation

I finally resolved a couple of mommy issues that have been hanging over me for a while now. It feels so good to put a check in those boxes. They involve solving drinking cup dilemmas for both of the girls.  It may sound silly, but they have really been bugging me. My baby Lillian just turned a year and she has a tendency to sling her cup everywhere while she eats. I partially resolved the issue by attaching a tether cord to her current sippy cup which also attaches to her highchair. I thought that was all I needed to do but since most baby sippy cups have soft spouts that can easily drip out liquids when they are completely upside down, my wood floor was becoming a disaster. Did I mention that I have also been very stubborn about putting any kind of mat on the floor to catch the spillage? I just want my kitchen to look as normal as possible. We have gotten rid of most of the baby gear and I am so itchy for my old house back it almost hurts. The ironic thing is that one day I know I will miss all the baby gear and the messes but we won’t go there now because at this current moment in time I want neat and clean. Frankly, I crave it as it is in my genes. Ask anyone in my family. It  just can’t  be helped.

So I put out the word to my Mommy friends that I needed to find a baby sippy cup that does not leak even when hanging upside down off of a highchair and it must be AWESOME. They delivered with answers and the funny thing is most of them agreed on the Playtex line of sippy cups. I must say that Playtex has a very informative website complete with a search feature that will customize what you need based on the age of your child. Due to Lillian’s age I tried the Playtex Lil Gripper Spout Cup. I admit the first day she was a little annoyed by it as it is more difficult to suck from I’m sure. I had my four year old use the extra one though so Lillian had an example of how to do it and that seemed to help. After a few days there were no issues. Problem solved!

The second drinking cup dilemma involved my four year old Riley. She has been drinking out of sippy cups primarily. She can drink out of regular cups, but I admit I am lazy in this department and I don’t want to think about the possibility of spills during dinner or snack times. I just don’t want to deal with it. I have enough to deal with as it is and this is one way to simplify things for my sanity. Anyway, when I have bought her the more expensive cups with straws she chews the straws up. A more apt description would be to say that she actually shreds them. They become unusable and I am tired of paying something like $4 a piece for a cup that won’t last long because she can’t control her need to bite them and destroy them like she is some sort of wild animal.  Can you tell I’m a little aggravated?

While researching the baby sippy cups one of my Mommy friends had mentioned those cheap “Take and Toss” cups that come with straws. She had told me that her kids had transitioned to them easily and the best part is that they are easy to clean and if you lose the straws for them you can use the basic store bought kind that come in large packs. Honestly, she had me at five cups in a pack for around $3.  Plus they are super colorful and that really makes a difference when I am cleaning them.  Anything bright and cheery makes me happier all the way around. So we tried them out and they are working out great! It looks so much better to see Riley drinking from a straw rather than a sippy cup. I had been feeling like I was holding her back developmentally and so the guilt had been piling up. She has been much happier as well. We made a big deal out of the fact that drinking from a straw is what big girls do. Would you believe that she is already chewing on these straws too? But no worries this time as I am well stocked with the regular straws that can easily be bought from the store. So onto the next Mommy challenge. There are so many.

Biscuits and Gravy

It is hard to believe that my mom died sixteen years ago this month. One of my life goals is to write about her and try somehow to capture her essence. I plan someday to write a memoir all about her. She was a remarkable woman, complicated and magical all in the same moment. She died of cancer and fought to the end. Everybody loved her. Even when she was difficult, which was often, she was still loved. She had a quality that made her unlike anyone else. It was more than charisma and it is something that I find myself often trying to figure out in quiet moments. She had a gift for "telling things as they are" and strangely, people couldn't get enough of it. Perhaps the southern accent softened the blow somehow. I remember even as a child witnessing it. I knew she could get away with things that us normal people just couldn't. I'm not going to lie, it was sometimes difficult growing up in her shadow. I often wondered why I wasn't more like her and thought there was something wrong with me and my sensitivity to things that seemed to not phase her in the slightest. I didn't subscribe to her philosphy of as she put it, "lob it off and set it adrift". I had to deal with things and those things hurt and hurt deeply, unable to simply be brushed aside. Even so, I love her and miss her.  I often find myself wanting to call her up and ask her how she dealt with different aspects of motherhood. I try to tell myself that her answers wouldn't satisfy anyway as she wasn't one to reflect on things. She simply reacted the best she could in the moment and never second guessed herself or looked back and wondered what would have been. At least that is what I imagine her answer would be in order to lessen the pain of not having the possiblity of that conversation.

So in her honor I offer this short piece knowing that it does not do her memory justice. It is only a small hint of her personality. It also honors two other amazing women in my family who have all gone home. I do have peace in knowing that mom has family with her right now as she sits at the feet of Jesus and that some day I will be there with her too. 

Biscuits and Gravy 

Hearing the ting, ting, ting of a fork hitting the inside of a glass bowl in the kitchen always takes me back to simpler days when someone I loved was making breakfast. The smell of biscuits in the morning all buttery and steamy, hot with their fluffy tops and crispy bottoms is like heaven itself on a plate. There is nothing like waking up to the popping and sizzling hiss of bacon and sausage. I can still smell the smoky, sweet haze in the kitchen air. That spicy brown sausage gravy made with the pan drippings would make me want to lick the bowl or at least lick the stray gravy that would somehow get on my fingers. I swear I would have taken a bath in that stuff if I could have.

How I long for the comforting sight of seeing Mom flour her laminate counter top and mix the biscuit ingredients: Crisco, salt, baking powder, buttermilk, and flour. Of course the flour had to be White Lily. Only, my mom would pronounce it in her thick, melodic Alabama accent. Even the packaging claims that it has been a “Southern tradition since 1883”. No matter what state we had moved to Mom would hunt down the local grocery store manager and insist they carry it for her and they always would. There was a rhythm and a pattern to the kneading that I can still picture in my mind, but my hands won’t imitate it. It’s like knowing a song so well you can hear it perfectly in your head, but being unable to utter a single note.  She would use an old four ounce tomato paste can as a biscuit cutter. I don’t know if she even owned an actual biscuit cutter. Maybe she thought that it would affect the thickness of her biscuits or maybe that was just simply the way that her mom had always made hers. Regardless, the perfectly rounded flat circles with the one exception from the leftover dough which Mom called the “ugly biscuit” would be placed on a cookie sheet and left to bake into the perfection that we would race to the table for each and every Saturday morning.  

 I have seen that gravy made a thousand times if I have seen it made once and always by the masters: Grandmother, Aunt Lynn, Aunt Kay, and of course Mom. I can’t make the gravy even though I know the steps and the ingredients. I don’t think many of us cousins can. I have heard rumor of my older cousin Randy doing it justice and his older brother Jay told us one Thanksgiving morning that he knew how. Immediately, he demonstrated his skills and some brave soul actually ate it, but gluey, tasteless gravy is a travesty to me and one that I will not participate in for fear of the wrath of God himself. After all, gravy is sacred in the south, right up there with Sunday dinner after church and seeing your Mama on Mother’s Day. 

Sounds corny but maybe the missing ingredient in my biscuits and gravy is love. That is always how I felt when I ate them. I was special enough for someone to get up early, take the extra time, and mess up the kitchen. How I long to wake up one morning and smell that country breakfast simmering just for me. This time I won’t tell Mom that I’m on a diet. And this time I won’t tell Grandmother that I need to watch my weight. And this time I won’t tell Aunt Lynn that the fat count is too high. I’ll just savor it all and in the end, use my leftover biscuit to “sop up” the rest of that fried egg with the yoke running all over my plate looking like the sunshine that it truly is.

               

In Need of a Savior

We have been dealing with some heavy stuff as a church family recently. This is a poem I wrote in response to that. I know that God has a plan even for the darkest events and I cling to that promise now. Hopefully, this will give you some encouragement for those dark times that we all go through in life.

My heart is heavy,

Mourning the loss of innocence.

The feel of death all around and closing in around me.

Wanting it to be a mistake,

Wanting to wake up to the world as it was yesterday,

Not today when the wailing is heavy in the air.

Evil invading when given the tiniest whisper of opportunity,

When darkness is sometimes easier then the light.

Too bright and glaring at times,

Too real-

The need of a Savior like never before.

Immunity impossible to this rampant sin plague.

Hunting us all down,

Infesting us all,

Impossible on our own to resist.

Blessed assurance Hope can be mine.

He alone can cleanse us through blood power,

When all other efforts are empty and meaningless.

Filthy like rags.

Hopeless.

He alone can save,

He alone can fill,

He alone can make whole,

He alone can satisfy.

In a world filled with everything else-

Empty promises.

Brokenness like an inescapable stench.

There is nothing else.

No one else.

Love alone cannot do it.

 His love is perfect.

Only His love has the power to set the wicked world right.

Everything in nature worships Him,

Points to His glory all the time.

Why can’t we?

Why is it so difficult to cry out?

To admit defeat?

To surrender?

Lord, help our unbelief!

We need you now!

Favorite Things- My Front Door

I have always loved my front door. It is one of my favorite things about this house. I love the bright white molding and the deeply contrasting pop of red. It makes a statement and I am pleased that I took the chance with it when it would have been easier to play it safe. The rabbit by the door is a tribute to my mom who always loved garden rabbits and we always had tons of them around. I think she would have liked this one. I have had this one for a long time.

I love having a fern by the front door. Ever since we moved I  have to get one each spring. When we lived in Florida I could never do this. Most every plant I put by the front door would die from the intense heat and sun. I used to look in Southern Living Magazine and my eye would always go to those pictures of beautiful southern homes adorned by ferns. Mine is doing especially well this year. We have had more rain this summer which has probably helped even though I water it regularly and it doesn't soley depend on the rain to survive. Just feeling thankful for a beautiful home in which to live and raise my girls! It was always my dream when we first got married.

Memories

Some days I live surrounded by the past, especially today when so much I have done has been connected to a memory. While putting in my contacts this morning I was suddenly transported back to being 11 years old standing in my bathroom with orange carpet and orange wallpaper and my Dad standing over me trying to be as gentle as possible while putting in my first contact lenses for me. He would try his best to put those contacts in his daughter’s eyes each morning knowing how resistant she was through the tears and foot stomping refusals. That was the summer before 6^th grade which was literally a painful one as I had to learn to wear gas permeable contact lenses for longer and longer periods of time in preparation for being able to wear them full time when school began. They were a painful solution to my rapidly declining eyesight or as my doctor so eloquently put it, “They would keep me from wearing coke bottle bottom glasses” Great way to build up an adolescent girl’s already crumbling self-esteem. To say that they were awful was an understatement. Torture would be a more fitting description. I remember counting down the minutes that summer until I could take them out and feel relief each day.  

As I watered my tomato planters I am reminded of my Grandparents and the only week I spent alone with them just my sister and me. The big events of the week were going to Sears, eating at Morrison’s, watching tons of Wimbledon on TV, and eating the best garden fresh tomatoes sliced up on a plate as a side to every supper served that week. I also remember playing with their dog Gerky. I think by that time my Granddaddy had finally given up teaching me how to solve the Rubik’s cube. It was a relief for us both.

I recently received a wonderful present from my cousins that is still sitting out in my kitchen. I haven’t the heart to put them up in my kitchen cabinet just yet. Every year we traveled to their home in Alabama for Thanksgiving and every year I remember seeing my aunt’s pilgrim salt and pepper shakers. She passed away a few years ago and out of the blue recently I received them in the mail. They are a perfect reminder of her as she will forever be linked to Thanksgiving in my mind. They remind me of home, family, good conversation, and of course incredible food. Special times. It makes me wonder how future extended family celebrations will be remembered by my girls as things now are so fragmented by distance and other time restraints. It seems so much harder to get everyone together in one place at one time anymore. Sadly, practically a miracle.

Leaving the mailbox today I see my oldest running down the long, hilly driveway toward our home and I am reminded of why we came to live in this house five years ago and why we decided to make a lifestyle change to move out of a large city with all of its conveniences to a more small town life. Riley runs with such freedom and joy, wild abandon really without a trace of fear at all. I want that fearlessness to remain with her always. Six years ago when we began to build this house I had visions of children running down this very driveway and I wondered who they would be and what they would look like. So magical to have a dream appear in flesh and blood before you. And all that comes to mind is the feeling of thankfulness as the past and present come together to collide in this one perfect moment. The explosion creating right now.

Being Real

It is hard to be real sometimes. I would venture to say even most of the time. Being fake is easier and it doesn’t hurt as much in the moment. The cost comes later, however. It costs the soul and creates a barrier to those around us. Often the barrier allows us to see those surrounding us but we are unable to hear their words of comfort or feel their hands of help. We are unable to reach out and feel them.

Being real takes time and energy which are two things I lack right now in my life which causes me to want to blame someone or something, myself included. I want to hunt the focus of my blame down and thus in the hunting I waste more of myself that can never be returned. So I lose pieces of myself. I am allowing myself and my focus to become fragmented. And that hurts too.

I am in a dark place right now of daily physical pain and I find myself wanting to escape. My mind wants to escape any way that it can. So I busy myself and I have difficulty slowing down. Like slowing down will allow the pain to catch up and have a tighter grip on me. Like it is alive and bares its fangs. The irony being that in movement the pain is eased. So I am caught in a cycle.

Being honest hurts too and I realize that I have to be or risk wasting this experience which would be even more tragic. So I must ask myself to forgive myself for my failings and I must cling to the One who never fails me. Therein lies my healing.

Thoughts on Summer

I knew that our summer was shaping up to be a busy one, but I really had no idea that it would prove to be as busy as it has been. It is funny how I remember summer being slow as a kid and neverending. As a an adult, it is anything but. How I long for the slowness, but on the days when I don't have anything planned for the kids like yesterday for example, things don't go so well and I am left feeling like this stay-at-home mom gig is simply too difficult and I want to bail.

So what have we been up to? Vacation Bible School for one which was an amazing experience that  I will never forget. I am so blessed to have been a part of it. Family arrived in town and the next day we had Riley's fourth Birthday party. This was her first real party with more friends than family. Jay and I went out of town for a much needed time of rest and relaxation. I was able to hit the spa and act like a rich lady for a while which was heavenly I must add. We returned to more family and then Lillian's first Birthday party. After that we had another week of Vacation Bible School at another church where I attend  a MOPS group. So I am now trying to catch my breath this week. I was hoping to get some cleaning done but so far that is just not happening. Life just seems to be getting in the way.

I am thinking today about how to have a full life and yet get those things done that must get done. The two must be combined somehow. The "to do" list must meet up with the "how to have a fun life" list that exists in my mind. How to make that happen is the challenge.  I don't want the frustration of not getting my "to do" list completed yet I don't want to miss out on fun and life. I don't want to waste time either. Often things need to get scheduled in order to make them happen. I'll keep thinking about it I'm sure. It will be the thought that wakes me up at night that I won't be able to shake...