Posting Schedule

Just to let everyone know...I won't be writing as much during the month of June. I am the Vacation Bible School Director at my church and it will be held the last week of the month. Of course there are tons of things to do and since this is my first time doing it, there is even more to do. Thanks so much for your patience and understanding. Keep checking back with me though. I have really enjoyed our time together and I look forward to being more focused with my writing in July. In the meantime, I would welcome your thoughts and comments on any of my older posts. It is my goal to build a community with these posts where we can share our ideas. We are better together- always! God never meant for us to do this journey alone.

My Summer Manifesto

I recently visited one of my favorite blogs at http://aliedwards.com/ (excuse my ignorance here about how to create a link- I haven't learned how to do it yet!).  Ali focuses on everyday life but from a scrapbook perspective. Her website is a wonderfully fun collection of words and images focusing on celebrating your life and cultivating a creative spirit, two topics that really touch my heart.  Her work inspires me and encourages me to live life to the fullest by not only growing and challenging myself, but by appreciating and paying attention to those small but special everyday moments that often get overlooked in our hectic lives.

She posted a summer manifesto and I liked the idea so much that I decided to work on mine. I thought that with my oldest daughter’s first year of preschool coming to an end next week and our summer officially beginning,  now would be a good time to think about what I want our summer to look like and what I hope for all of us to get out of it. Perhaps my ideas will give you some as well.

My Summer Manifesto:

1.      Grow a tomato that tastes as close as possible to the fat, juicy ones that my Granddaddy used to grow so long ago.

2.      Make outside play time a priority.

3.      Visit new parks in the area that we haven’t checked out yet.

4.      Have picnics in our own front yard.

5.      Sit out on my front covered porch and enjoy watching a summer storm blow in.

6.      Enjoy the fireflies when they first come out at night.

7.      Make spontaneous ice cream runs as a family.

8.      Instigate “Spotlight Time” (I realize that this one needs some explaining. First of all my husband is a closet redneck. One of the things he loves the most about living on three acres in the country is the freedom to throw our watermelon rinds into the woods anytime he wants. He loves to shine a spotlight at night around our property and see what wildlife can be spotted or anything else interesting for that matter. The last time we did this we stood in the bed of our truck in our driveway and shone the light only to see a skunk walking around in our back yard. The sad thing is I didn’t even realize it was a skunk. He had to explain that they don’t all look like the cartoon character Pepe Le Pew. What can I say? Cheap fun and it would earn brownie points with him.)

9.      Read a novel in one of my favorite genres, young adult fiction, just because it is fun and makes me connect with myself as a teenager while bringing back old memories and dreams long ago forgotten.

10.  Check out our weekly kid craft time at the library.

11.  Actually play with the girls in the sandbox.

12.  Take the girls to the beach.

13.  Take the girls to the pool and forget about worrying what I look like in a bathing suit.

14.  Grill out often.

15.  Organize that neighborhood block party I keep talking about doing and everybody is sick of hearing me talk about doing.

16.  Take my oldest to the movies for the first time.

I feel like I could go on and on but the main thing I keep hearing in my head is to simply life this summer and to make time to have fun with my family. I want this summer to be one filled with happy memories, not items on my never ending “To Do” list. I would love to hear your comments on the subject as well. Will you join me in taking this challenge? Let’s make this summer one where enjoying our families is the priority, not just one of enduring all this extra time together since the kids are home from school.

The Power of the Pedi

I had a little mommy break the other day and it was AMAZING to say the least. I have had to start going to physical therapy twice a week now and because of that one of them is a late appointment in order for my husband to come home and take over for me to go. He was recently out of town for two weeks hence the reason that my blog postings haven’t been happening regularly lately. When he came home after his time away, we talked about my obvious need for a break. It didn’t take much convincing when the day he came home I went to bed at 7:30pm followed by a three hour nap the very next day. So it was decided that I would take the night off after my next appointment.

The appointment itself went really well which set the tone. I am beginning to feel stronger and my pain seems to be improving. I’m even breathing better. Afterwards I headed for a rare treat- a pedicure. I haven’t had one in so long. I opted for a more edgy purple color with sparkles that my daughter likes to call sprinkles. Every time I look down it reminds me that I need to take time to care for myself. Besides, I live in sandals and bare feet in the summer so it just makes sense. I used to do them for myself in my bk (before kids) days, but now it is rare to even take a bubble bath which used to be the perfect place and time to do them.

For me nothing says pampering like a pedicure. The very act feels indulgent. I love feeling the warm water on my tired feet. The sound of female laughter surrounds me and my writers mind loves overhearing the conversations. The candidness between two female strangers never ceases to amaze me in places like this. Somehow sitting beside another woman soaking your feet together makes it feel right to go deep and discuss anything and everything. I love the feeling of being taken care of for a change.  I catch snippets from talk shows- just enough to feel as if I am in the land of adults. I flip through the latest celebrity gossip magazines like I don’t have anywhere to be and nothing more important to be doing. The massage chair soothes as the vibration goes up and down my back.

I should do this more often. But I don’t. I should become someone they know by name. Maybe I will. For now, I will appreciate this moment and drink it up like I plan to drink that strawberry pineapple smoothie which will be my next stop on my way-too-brief mommy break tour.

Experts

I approach every change in my life the same way. I research. Sleep schedules? Check. Breastfeeding? Check. Temper tantrums? Check. Solid food introduction? Check. It gives me the illusion of control which I find comforting when facing a major life transition of which I am unsure. I can at least sound like I know what I'm doing when I can quote the material that I memorized on the subject. But who am I kidding? I'm not an expert on anything really. Besides, what does that word really mean anyway? A doctor recently told me that if you call yourself an expert, it is really an excuse to quit learning. So I guess I am in progress. Isn't that enough?

Battles

I’ve decided that some battles aren’t worth fighting with my oldest daughter.  It’s something I’ve known for a while now actually. Honestly, I’ve been fighting some of these battles simply because I worried about what others might think. Now I have finally decided that I don’t care anymore. My sanity is too important and if someone decides that I’m not a good mom because of them then so be it. I have enough going on in my bursting at the seams life right now so the thought of releasing some things and finally letting go feels really good.  So here goes the list of items that I am deciding just aren’t that important to me anymore.

1.      Clothes: If my three year old decides to wear head to toe floral prints that aren’t matching, then go for it. If she wants to wear long sleeves during this transitional period of warmer days then have at it. I tell her that she will be hot, but in the end it is her call. End of discussion. I surrender.

2.      Hair: No more hair style fights. If she doesn’t want anything to hold back her long hair I simply tell her why she might want to reconsider, but then I shut up after that. As long as it is clean and brushed, oh well.

3.      Shoes: Her preschool prefers that socks and closed toed shoes be worn since their play area has mulch which could get into sandals and hurt. Lately, sandals have become increasingly popular in my house. I can’t say I blame her as I hate shoes and prefer sandals any day myself and always have. However, I know that mulch in sandals really does hurt and makes it hard to play. All it took was one day of letting her wear her sandals in the car to school even after I told her that her teachers didn’t want her feet to hurt during play time outside. She must have been reconsidering during the car ride because once we got to school she wanted to change. The amazed look on her face when I quietly produced the tennis shoes from the front seat was priceless. So now when I remind her of why it would be better to wear tennis shoes to school, she always chooses the tennis shoes. Done.

4.      Food: Due to my food issues I don’t force everything on the plate to be eaten. I don’t want her to lose her natural ability to self regulate her eating which she does so well. I was a member of the clean plate club myself and all it got me was fat. I have decided that if most food groups are represented (I’m still hoping for more vegetables to make an appearance) and a decent amount eaten, then I’m calling it good. Now as far as variety goes I do wish that more than a handful of different foods were actually eaten. She was a much better eater even a year ago, but knowing that for my child it is a control issue, the more I back off and lay low the better. I just keep offering healthy choices while recognizing that at least the handful of items that she likes are healthy. I wave the white flag.

I don’t feel like I am giving in, just adjusting my parenting strategy. In the past, I think I looked at some of these challenges as “winner takes all” with me having to win. Nowadays, I realize that there is another person involved here, one who has strong feelings and opinions which do actually matter. My job isn’t to win but to direct and guide instead. Ultimately, I hope to raise a strong girl capable of making her own decisions. I’ve noticed already that by me explaining the “whys” behind things the battles seem fewer and farther between. A bridge of trust is being built so that she seems to realize that my recommendations are actually in her best interest too.  She seems to be more willing to yield to me in those areas.

I am overcome by the fact that God operates in exactly the same way with me. I fight him sometimes just to fight. I want control of my life no matter the cost. Self-destruction is guaranteed this way; it is in my blood. But when I yield to Him, He has my best interest in mind all the time. He has the best plan for me and for everyone. In fact, it is the exact plan that we would choose for ourselves if we knew everything that He knows. Yet, we want to continue fighting. It seems so crazy when thought of that way. The Creator of the Universe cares so much for me in this very moment as well as us all. He rejoices over me with singing much as I do over my girls. Who am I to say no to His plan for my life, especially when those plans involve giving me hope and a future?

By being a parent I see facets of His character every day and I see how completely lacking I am unless I yield to Him. There is nothing harder than that. Yet, in the giving up, I gain Him. There is nothing better than that. So again I say some battles are not worth fighting, not with my daughter and certainly not with the Creator of the Universe. I am reminded of the song  “White Flag” by Chris Tomlin. “We’re laying down our weapons now. We raise our white flag. We surrender all to you. All for you. We raise our white flag. The war is over. Love has come. Your love has won.” So true.