Devotion #9- "Seek Ye First" Experiment Part 1

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 (KJV) 

Last fall I embarked on an experiment of sorts. I was frustrated from getting that "spinning wheels" feeling multiple times a day. I had grown weary from hearing that I should just "put God first" and that would solve everything.  What did that look like in a busy family with young children? Was it even possible or something reserved only for monastics? I decided to find out. I began by signing up for an in-depth Bible study. It had been years since I had been part of one and I was nervous that the nightly homework would prove to be too much with the many responsibilities of having young children and trying to run a home.  Regardless,  I knew that I needed to make time with God a priority in my life, but my previous attempts had sadly been just that- attempts. 

I had tried earlier in the year to read through the Bible yet again, a New Year's resolution I had made so many times before that always seemed to last until April or Deuteronomy, whichever came first. Somehow, I would get behind on my daily reading plan and instead of continuing on, I would give up. Crazy, I know. Why give up? Just keep going for goodness sakes! Who cares if you read through the Bible in thirteen months instead of twelve! Those unchecked boxes on my reading plan mocked me. The legalist in me just couldn't cope with the failure.   

I had tried getting up earlier in the morning for a devotion time to start my day. These never worked for me either. Somehow my kids would know that I was up. My preschooler would get in my bed and the baby would start to cry. How they knew that I was up when all I would do is turn on my bedroom light and read my devotion book in an over- stuffed leather chair in the corner will forever remain a mystery.

I also tried putting devotion books in various places around the house in an attempt to use spare moments to focus on God. This did help but only to a point. I would be in the middle of a reading when the interruptions would inevitably start. 

So my conclusion was that reading through the Bible without a clear purpose like questions to answer or some thought to focus on wasn't working for me. Any good reading teacher will tell you that comprehension starts with a purpose for reading. For me, not setting a purpose was setting me up for confusion when I read. Getting up early in the morning wasn't working either. I have to admit that I felt extreme guilt over this one not working as I had always heard that having time with God first thing was the best time. David even talks about it in the Bible. Randomly  reading devotions felt just that- too random. I needed something more intentional and purposeful. Bits of moments with God wasn't enough. I recognized the depth of my empty soul. Plain and simple- I was desperate in my need for more of Him and I wasn't getting relief from these scraps.

I will continue to share more of my journey in "seeking Him first" and what did end up working for me in the next devotion.